These poems are imitation poems. Meaning, these poems are written in an attempt to capture a particular poet’s voice without losing my own. There is a special place in my heart for these because I felt a connection with the poets while I was writing.

 

 

My poem, I Didn’t Know I Loved, is based on Nâzim Hikmet’s Things I Didn’t Know I Loved.

 

I Didn’t Know I Loved			
        for Nâzim Hikmet

I sit at my desk and count the breaths in my pen.
I didn’t know I loved 11 
It was hidden behind my desire for 13. 	Is love less beautiful
if it is veiled?

I didn’t know I loved the moon.
It is cleaner than the light of the sun.
The sun burns 		creates dust 	
the moon cools and softens eyes into creating illusions
that panthers sleep in oak trees that touch the stars. 
I never knew I loved the moon.

I didn’t know I loved writing until I saw tragedy
and had no warmth in my mouth for words.
The white paper became my tooth
and the ink my tongue. My throat
was a jagged mix of letters searching 
the loss of a woman I had never met. A child
became an adult obsessed 	with pen and paper.

I don’t like knowing my love began with pain.

Peppermint … I didn’t know I loved peppermint
until the chemo current was in my arm.
The smell of the saline	the taste of sterility 
enclosed the chair as I curled 
  trying to separate my cells.
The red and white candy seeped the nausea from my heart
	and I slept like I was well …

and now I think of seeing the daffodils
Every March, very near my birthday
florists bundle the lemon and cream flowers
and sell them for the ACS 	and they rest	      in homes
      in hospitals
where the light is the dimmest 	there the petals      shine.
When I moved into my new home the first flower delivered was a daffodil
and I smiled.
I didn’t know I loved the daffodils.

I didn’t know I loved so many things,
    black       silver	  white	       yellow
and most especially red, until I sat
at my desk and counted these 11 breaths. 

 

 

My poem, She Chased Beauty, is based on Joy Harjo’s She Had Some Horses. This poem (and a few others) was published in the first issue of the online literary magazine, The Dandelion Review.

 

She Chased Beauty
		for Joy Harjo
 

She chased beauty in sidewalk chalk.
She chased beauty in fistfuls of dandelions held softly against her lip.
She chased beauty in her mother’s high heels.
She chased beauty in the purr of a calico cat whose eye would sometimes 
    glitter with madness.

She chased beauty.

She chased beauty through the splash of a spring puddle.
She chased beauty in lilac-flowered hair.
She chased beauty in the ink of a book.
She chased beauty in a house that shivered with too much pain.
She chased beauty in parents too tired to chase back.

She chased beauty.

She chased beauty in bright red lipstick.
She chased beauty with pink painted toes, then hid them in steel-toed 
    boots. 
She chased beauty in the beards of men who were not beautiful.
She chased beauty in the beard of a man who was.

She chased beauty.

She chased beauty in between malignant cells and saline-sweetened IVs.
She chased beauty bald.
She chased beauty beneath hats, wide-brimmed and floppy.
She chased beauty in the scar on her neck, though the doctor assured her
    it would fade into the wrinkle of age.
She chased beauty in quiet, smile-coated pain.

She chased beauty.

She chased beauty for two daughters who were so like her, 
    she was ecstatic.
She chased beauty for two daughters so like her, she was afraid.
She chased beauty for two daughters so they would recognize beauty 
    without their own chasing.


She chased beauty.