I feel like I am still wrestling with cancer even though I’ve been given the all clear. Although I am starting to feel better, it is still feels very much day to day sometimes. I finally had a chance to discuss my fatigue with my oncologist. As a result, she ran various blood panels. I was not terribly surprised to learn that I was anemic.

So I am once again on iron pills. I take a 325mg pill twice a day. She also has me taking 250mg of vitamin c to help with iron absorption. And it worked! I started feeling like I had real energy again. I was working more. Caffeine actually made me hyper again. For two weeks, it was glorious!

Then a couple of days ago, I was tired again. It was like the clichéd light switch. Suddenly, I couldn’t focus for any length of time. Ten hours was not enough sleep. I constantly felt like I was moving underwater. Then it dawned on me that it was time for my period to begin. The iron was being redirected. My body–just doing its normal thing like it has for 30 years–is still being beaten up by treatment. I’m not giving in to anemia though.

I just have to adjust my diet again. My husband, being the awesome man that he is, just made me steak. When he asked me if it sounded good, I said that I got a chill just thinking about tasting the blood on the plate.

So I’m going to give homage to my Anne Rice reading, Lloyd Dobler loving teenage years. I’m going to love that blood and stare at happy, guitar playing, letter writing John Cusack.